What really annoys me is that

Some of my friends bang on about the benefits of this.

Oh look at the sky, oh and all this time with my kids, aren’t they sweet as they scalp each other there in the background and am I not the greatest pedagogue alive? Also, look at this vegan lasagna I made out of ethically sourced cardboard when I finally got out of bed at 11. And did you know that my husband is now basically a prisoner, isn’t it fab that he can’t spend his paycheck at the pub and swear at a screen with Everton players all over it? Isn’t this all marvelous?

Nooo, I usually scream at the other end of one virtual channel or another, this is shit.

I am then duly told that I need to get in touch with myself, discover meaning or some other form of nonsense.

If I get any more in touch with myself I’ll leave bruises. If I discover any more meaning to my life, I’ll probably turn into Bhagwan and start a cult from my living room. I have explored every uninteresting inch of myself, thanks. I am more full of meaning that the Oxford Dictionary.

Now can I please go to the pub and scream at Everton?

12 thoughts on “What really annoys me is that

  1. Hahahaha! If you have to wait until something like this to get to know yourself, then you’d be better off not making the acquaintance!

    Long morning sleeps, reading junk on the internet, and playing with the cats are more enjoyable. You may long for the pub, but I long for drives to nearby cities, just to browse the stores and check out the streets. Maybe by the end of next month.

    Like

    1. 🙂 I hope so. Maybe next month we’ll all get at least a tiny bit of what we miss back. A definite and hearty like to playing with cats, reading junk and long morning sleeps:)

      Like

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